CHOICE: Humility

Ah… the topic of enormous variety!  Which one do I pick?  While I have plenty to share about this topic (including my own depression), I wanted to stick to something that is more recent.

Almost everyone seems to think that rocket science is all that.  To me, it really isn’t.  You see, the only thing I did right when I was in college was by studying as if it was worship to God, to glorify Him by giving all that I have, and at the time, as a student.  I believe it is because of that I did well.But even with good grades, I knew that this job of rocket science wasn’t going to be all that easy.

For instance, last week was one that I perhaps may not care as much of.  Why?  For every (Shuttle) flight, I have to post-process the flight data.  This recent past flight, however, was not my average flight.  The data collecting system on the starboard side (right) didn’t initialize properly for some time.  So the automatic data processing now had to be done manually.Well, in the team of four (incl. my manager), no one really seemed to remember how to go about it manually.With time crunching in, I had struggled for days trying to figure out the scripts and programs to see where and what I had to change to make this work.In the end, it seemed like God was in control because I would always get that piece of data at the last minute unexpectedly from people and my own search, which reminded me that I am not the one in control.

Only with God’s grace did I finish that data processing, and not a moment too soon!Last week was indeed one of humility.  I’m only here because God allowed me to be.  I could become unemployed or be forced to change profession if God saw it fit.  All I can do now is to be a God-obeying rocket scientist.

CHOICE: Compassion

I thought I’d write this week about each of the CHOICE elements throughout the week as I pray on each topic each day (as Pastor Shawn suggested that we do) but write about something that hits home for me.

Well, in compassion, the first thing that came up in my head is my first year in England.  I was 12 then.  The only preparation I had prior to going to England was learning a few vocabulary words.  In other words, I didn’t know any.  With my father’s decision to attend seminary in England, we followed.  But for a 12 year old, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to face.

Back in ’85, there were no more than 2000 Koreans in England altogether.  Needless to say, I felt alienated.  Being thrown into a school system of unfamiliarity of both place and people, if I were shy before (and I was), I was now hidden.  My more outgoing younger brother had adjusted better than I had.  I just shriveled up and made minimal contact with those around me.  It wasn’t like other kids were trying to make an extra effort to the newcomer either.

Being forced to wear a uniform and this prison-like garment called a necktie, I had no idea of what others asked of me, from me, or about me.  Thus entered my guessing game for the first year.  I call it “Yes no game”.  It is basically taking any question that was thrown at me and I just did a simple guessing at the question and answering either yes or no.  I just watched the lips move.  In fact, my own theory on my personality having developed to the current state is that it was my own adaptation method to be able to deal with the situation.  That’s another story for another time. 

So what does this have to do with the compassion?  Plenty.  It still lingers strongly in my head what it felt like those first two years.  They were painstakingly rough and difficult.  For those of you that had grown up in the English-speaking country since infant years, this will not be a picture you can paint inside your mind very well, if at all.  Having gone through this painful process myself was in fact a God-given gift, to be able to share compassion with those that are new to this culture and this language. 

You see, I have realized that, over the years, compassion can’t really be had towards the people you do not understand what they are going through.  We all have had our different shares of tough times and difficulties.  But instead of trying to forget about it and shun it, I want to embrace it (yeah, I sound cheesy!) and allow it to help those around me to better embrace the new change that they themselves have to go through.  I pray that we all will.

Ah the perils of parenthood… decisions decision, decisions!!

I hated it when my father couldn’t make it to anything… be it our sports events, let alone spend more time with us.  He was always busy, and he had “good excuses” too… after all, he was a pastor!  Though I somewhat understood the price of being a PK (Pastor’s Kid), I had told myself that I would never let my kids pay the “price of ministry”.  Well, I’m not a pastor but here I am in the perils of things…

Soojin has been very brave and has been taking the kids to Young Nak’s VBS (Vacation Bible Study).  Someday, Pathways will have our own… but till then, this will do.  Well, tomorrow night is special.  Instead of typical 1 to 4 pm meeting time, tomorrow is from 3 to 9 pm!  And get this, the children are doing some kind of presentation at 7 pm or so!!  So I was at a dilemma of things…  It is someone’s special dinner that it coincides with! 

I was arguing with myself on what to do… but I came back to that decision one more time… that I would not let my kids suffer, especially at such young and tender age.  Anna already showed me some of the motions to a song that they will be doing tomorrow!  Ah…

So I am sorry that I won’t make the dinner…  Learning to put my kids first is turning out to be quite a difficult process!