Things have gotten stale in the world of gadgets. It used to be the wild west during the feature phone days, when Kyocera and Nokia were busting out bold new designs and competing for our attention, then Apple introduced the iPhone and everybody just settled into a slump. Devices got thinner, change became incremental and that glorious spark was lost. But in China there’s still some gonzo stuff being done. Looking through some of the most common import sites I went looking for the most bizarre and daring ideas in personal communication I could find. Here’s 8 phones that will set you apart from the crowd.
1. "Luxury Metal body Car Logo Dual Sim Mobile Phone" ($999.00!!!)
I’ll be honest, I have no idea why this phone (as of this writing) is listed at almost the same price as a brand-new iPhone X. The gold is fake, there is no touchscreen, and the NOT-QUITE-FERRARI logo only make sense in the "shameless bootleg" sphere, a trinket for broke people trying to put on airs of sophistication. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, perhaps this entire phone company’s business plan is based on "eccentric oil millionaires who don’t look too closely at their screens while dropping 1K on a smartphone"? If you too would like to engage with the height absolute bottom of luxury, this little guy is for you.
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2. ZTE Axon M ($724.99)
While many Chinese smartphone manufacturers (not that there are any smartphones that AREN’T made in China, but you get the point) have been trying to break into the American market, this baby has broken throught the waves of Apple imitators and made me TAKE NOTICE. The Axon M has a second screen that flips out from the back turning your boring old phone into the wonkiest Nintendo DS ever made. Now you can watch YouTube AND get into heated arguments in the comments section at the same time! Or you can use both screens in an expanded tablet mode (with a huge bezel line in the middle of the screen and almost no compatible apps). While it won’t win in the specs or looks department, this is the kind of gonzo feature experimentation that has been missing from the tech scene for years. Plus, this one’s actually for sale through AT&T.
3. Huawei Enjoy 7 – Kentucky Fried Chicken Edition ($599.99)
If you haven’t traveled to East Asia, you might not be aware of just how much KFC has dominated the fast food scene. From China to the Philippines to Japan, the face of Colonel Sanders is an avatar of celebration, excess, and convenient fried food. So to celebrate the brand’s 30th anniversary in China, Huawei produced these limited edition KFC phones. Bonus points if you get this phone because people will think it’s one of those iPhones where the proceeds go to AIDS prevention but sneaky-sneaky: it’s a chicken phone!
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4. A20 Single SIM Bluetooth 3.0 Earphone – aka "THE PARADOX" ($21.99)
Now this one is a real galaxy-brain device. This device COMBINES the once ubiquitous bluetooth earpiece (a favorite of mall dads and outdoor furniture salesmen) and a tiny GSM cellphone (you can add your own SIM and make calls from the device itself). However, this raises the question… IF YOU’RE MAKING CALLS DIRECTLY FROM THE PHONE, THEN IT’S NOT USING "BLUETOOTH" AT ALL!? The wireless standard’s logo is all over this device, but when used at intended, you will never use it at al. Aparently, you can use the device AS a bluetooth headset as well, but then why not just use a normal phone? Listen I can’t read minds I just still can’t believe this thing exists.
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5. Anica S6 Mouse Phone ($49.99)Â
Bluetooth Earpiece Phone: "I’m pretty pointless."
Combination Wireless Mouse/Phone: "Hold my goddamn beer, you child."
Encased in milled aluminum and tempered glass, this wireless mouse doubles as a DUAL-SIM phone capable of making calls, messaging, and MP3 playback. It’s also a functioning bluetooth optical mouse. Straining the upper limits of my imagination, I can almost imagine someone who travels a lot for work who has to manage multiple phone lines and needs to get stuff done on their laptop… but then THEY LOSE ACCESS TO THEIR MOUSE WHEN THEY ANSWER THE PHONE? Why does this exist? Who buys this? Please leave a comment and expand my narrow perspective on the human experience.
6. Runbo Q5 4 Waterproof Rugged Smartphone ($475.99)
There’s a lot of oddly branded "rugged" phones on the market, but only one has a tiny ape kissing the screen in their official ad copy. The rubberized case and shatter-resistant screen is meant to go places where other phones dare not go, and if you don’t get cell phone coverage on the peaks of K2, there’s an included UHF analog walkie talkie, so you hopefully won’t be stranded in nature for too long before you have to I don’t know, eat your own thighs for sustenance or something.
7. Q308 Finger Gyro Reduce Stress Phone ($19.99)
For too long, our phones have been a source of stress in our life. Work, current events, and familial obligations all blasting from the little device we only agreed to carry because you could listen to podcasts and play match 3 games on them. But now there’s a mobile phone that actually helps you RELAX on the go. A zen-like celebration of stillness and motion combined with the hypnotic dance of flashing LED lights. The Q308 is a GSM band phone with built in games, bluetooth connectivity, and 200+ hours of standby time. America may have invented the mobile phone in the 80s, but China has perfected it in 2017.
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8. Meitu V6 ($629.99)
Finally, let’s class it up with this real leather-bound and stylish take on the standard android phone. The most startling feature (besides its INTERESTING hexagonal shape) is the dual camera modules on both back and front of the device, making it one hell of a selfie machine. Running a skinned version of Nougat and a 10-core CPU you have enough beef to run most modern apps and you’ll get second-looks every time you bust it out in public. While not the most practical of choices, it’s definitely unique and the world is better for us having at least having the option in a world of glass-backed slabs.
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