Category: Thoughts

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Talking about Injustice

I don’t know what started it… but we were coming back from our Connection Group meeting from church when we started talking about how expensive insurance is even for us Americans and how you can’t get good medical care these days.

That started a rather passionate and heated talks between Soojin and myself about that.  And then it reminded me of how pharmaceutical companies are greedy b*****ds for taking only money.  You see, while in Ethiopia, and through the book, There is No Me Without You, I discovered and came to realization how greedy and injust these pharmaceutical companies are!  Medication to treat AIDS/HIV has been around since late ’90s yet the company that developed it did not want to let go of its patent(s) and so generic medications couldn’t be made by a 3rd company.  This meant that the price of medication was even too expensive for middle income families of America, let alone the poor $1-per-day income families of Africa!  I was so furious and mad that it brought back that sheer anger and madness at such injustice!

We met an infant at Haregewoin’s orhpanage who looked so much better thanks to the generic medication that is now finally available.  You see, the patent expired few years ago (finaly-freakin’-ly) and now it costs orders of magnitude less!!

Erg… if you know who these pharmaceutical compan(ies) are, let me know…  I want to do something… at the least, to make people aware of these selfish injustice around the world.  To put more value on money over people is not just injust, but inhumane.  I am still mad thinking about it….

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The Ironic Side of Sympathy & Pain

Though it’s spring, I also still hate this time of th year… I have allergies.  I am allergic to most tree pollens and cats and dust.  I’ve been allergic to pollen & spring since I was 15 years old.  However, since moving to Texas, I get to have it twice a year!   Blessed am I!!  😛

Well, another note is that humans are selfish by nature.  We fail to understand (nor do we want to understand) others’ pains unless we ourselves have gone through it.  If I speak about the toughness of allergies with those who don’t have any, I might as well ask a Swahili-speaking person for it!  Unfortunately, same case was for Soojin.  I’ve tried to explain to her how it debilitates me at its peak, as my head spins round and round, sneezing my head off, trying to scratch my eyes and nose, wishing I could cut them off.

She developed a full-on allergy symptoms starting last year.  This year was worse.  She also experienced it a week ahead of me.  Poor Soojin.  This past weekend was my turn.   Currently, my throat area is very irritated at the moment, to say the least.  Cheat area feels inflamed, my eyes are so itchy that I want to just gouge them out!  My nose hurts even from the slightest touch now as it’s beyond being irritated!  Now, unfortunately, Soojin knows what I am going through, and sympathizes with me.

I don’t wish that kind of suffering on anyone, but I suppose that’s the sign of being human.  We simply do not wish to even try to understand others’ suffering unless we have gone through it.  So sad, really…

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CCSC Experience

Though schedule seemed to conflict, I was able to make it to CCSC this past Saturday to volunteer.  CCSC stands for Christian Community Service Center, and our Pathways Church has been volunteering every second Saturday of the month.

As I chewed on my turkey sandwich, I was trying to think of what to share, I realized that this past Saturday was very special for me.  It was my first time to serve as an interviewer!!  :O  You see, CCSC has a building near our church where they open up to help out those who are in need of financial, food, and clothing help.  Families, who may have been stricken with some kind of tough situation, like losing a job, and needed some food to get by, or help with paying rent or bills come to seek help here.

It’s a great place.  I’ve been serving here mainly in pantry and administration side of things for past year, but never had the opportunity (or even dreamed of) to serve as an interviewer!  So needless to say, I was very surprised when Ruth, the head honcho Korean-American lady that runs the place on that Saturday, asked me to interview!!  I panicked!  What if I miss questions, what if I forget to include something… what if I… but most importantly, what if I ask or say something stupid to offend these people who are in need!  The last thing they need is to be offended by my saying something totally insensitive!  🙁

I watched another interviewer in action for a while and then Ruth asked me to interview this one man who needs to leave soon for an interview!  So trying not to look too nervous, I asked him to come in.  Shook hands and introduced myself.  Told him I was a total newbie at this and apologized in advance of my mistakes and any other shortcomings.  This man had things going… his occupation was an accountant but lost job due to illness and was always looking for contract work inbetween.  He told me himself that he gets very sensitive and proud.  This told me that he probably didn’t want to be here, if at all possible.  And his record showed just that.  His visits were sporadic, and due to an illness that I can’t mention, things were going rough for him.

This is when I told myself to look beyond the appearance and the voice of this man.  This man is in need of help, I told myself.  He doesn’t need me to criticize him on his personal skills, but for me to just be kind and courteous and get him through the paper work so he can grab some food for himself and leave in time for his interview.  Prior to this experience, it was hard to really get a face-to-face time with these people in need, and thus made feel more and more segregated… and left me feeling… different from them.  This interview process totally changed that.

I wanted to make God proud of me, just as any human tends to try to get his/her parents proud of him/her.  So I put my opinions aside and just helped.  I hope to be able to serve as an interviewer more often… a bit selfish on my part… so that I can connect with these people in need better… and closer.  It was a good day.

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NASA’s Gen Y Perspective on NASA’s Future

Read and see the presentation that 4 young Gen Y people put together on NASA and where it needs to be from The Wired…

It’s true that most people, especially the current and younger Gen Y (born between 1977 and 2000) have no clue on space exploration or NASA, let alone be interested in pursuing a career in one.  I have always been interested in space and technology.  That is why I am in my current job as an aerospace engineer.  I am not in it for the money because I sure don’t make much money like a CPA, a lawyer, or a doctor.   I personally can’t see myself doing anything else either.  It’s as if God made me to be an engineer.  It really is a calling.

But if people don’t know of the possibilities of this calling’s existence to begin with, how is the new generation supposed to take over this vision of space exploration?!  Few days ago, I read an article by CNN|Money that stated that there will be heavy shortage of engineers in aerospace and defense industry.

Clearly, the higher powers in both the government and the corporations are doing something wrong.  It’s clear that they aren’t doing things right.  No one wants to be an engineer anymore because we clearly aren’t the most well-respected, let alone, well-paid, group of professionals.  Why become one when you can easily make more money being a lawyer, doctor, or be in financial industry?!

As these 4 young Gen Y people are showing, if the old entities like NASA and major (old school) corporations don’t adapt to the current generation and its mentality, things only look bleak from here.  I hope that the higher-powers-that-be  heed the warnings.

If you want to get the Powerpoint presentation of what these 4 young people put together, you can get it directly from here. 

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Montrose Street Outreach Experience & Terry

This past Wednesday, our church was given an opportunity to participate at a Montrose Street Outreach Service.  They meet in the small parking lot behind near downtown.  We met up at 6:30 pm and there were quite a few people already, some from other churches and good portion from the street.

Since there were too many people, I tried to stick with just one person.  There was a rather outspoken lady in a wheel chair.  Don’t let her disability fool you, Terry, or as she said she prefers to be called sometimes, “Sister T”.  🙂  A Caucasian lady approximately of age over 60+.  She seemed to have her entire life strapped onto that chair.

At first, she seemed a bit… intrusive and … wordy.  We struck up a conversation about Elvis, of all people!  😀   She told me how she met Elvis before he was big.  She also asked how many grammies he had won.  I said maybe at least 50?  She said ‘no’ and answered “3”.  All were from gospel music.  Not sure if that’s true but if true, wow.

She had a rough past since childhood.  She is from the west Texas and things have never been easy.  She eventually turned up in Houston and has been here ever since.  In all the 2 to 3 hours I spent with her, in worship service and conversing, I was able to see through her mean-looking exterior and discovered a beautiful lady who was beyond confident when it came to one:  Christ.  Despite her environment, she was able to always find God and his providence and protection for her.  It was hard to think that she was a homeless person.  Not just that, but she had an uncanny researching skill using the Internet!

Her electric wheel chair was given by helping this one guy who had been trying to find some info on a property in the northwest of Houston.  When she said she could help, many around her scoffed at her, but Terry is a very strong person.  She ignored those people and got him the answers.  That’s how she wants to make a living and it’s evident when you find out her e-mail address:  neighborhoodrenewal@yahoo.com.  She’s something else.

She does speak.  A lot.  And can seem irritating at first.  But when I got past that, her confidence in Christ and His provision was just astounding.  Simply put, shameful for someone like me… that my confidence in God is not even close to her level.  She was also a veteran homeless.  She didn’t care so much about “less useful” things like candies, but wanted clothing and socks.   There was never a dull moment being with her.

Additionally, after nearly 3 hours on the outside, it was hard to imagine how the homeless without shelter survive these tough winters.  My hands were shivering and my head was spinning from the weather.  I can only pray that there will be more opportunities to help.  It was a humbling experience, one that I didn’t expect.  But then again, that’s God.  🙂

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Stress and Ash Wednesday

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday… the day to mark the beginning of Lent, a 40-day period to prepare for the agony and pain that Jesus went through and 40 days reflect the length of time he spent in the desert.  Prior to this day, my stress level has been … surmounting lately.  I thought I’d share this with the few that read this and ask for your prayers.

1. My mother-in-law’s health has been worsening with her liver no longer allowing her to take any medications, having gone through two surgeries for her eyes, and knees, and because of the liver, they can’t perform surgery on her neck, which has been giving her lots of pain.  Her siblings all but two have died of liver cancer, and she shows symptoms of the same disease.  I’m afraid that she may not have much time left…  🙁

2. Because of my mother-in-law’s health condition, Soojin has been stressed out about it, and cries a lot of times regarding this… even more so thinking that she can’t help take care of her mom.

3. So naturally, before her health diminishes even further, we planned to visit her this year in Korea, but as most know, plane tickets are not cheap.  I’m looking at easily $4000 to $5000 for 4.  That’s not a small amount and it’s stressing me out.

4. Unfortunate misunderstandings and timings have brought some bad situation to some of my relationships.

5. My parents haven’t been doing too well either.

6. I’ve had a severe headache for over a week where everything above my sinus have been giving me so much pain that I couldn’t concentrate.  Thought it was allergies at first but upon visiting my doctor, she told me that it’s more likely due to sinus infection.  I’m on 3 meds now and the throbbing pain in my cranium seems to have gone… for now.

7. Job has been… frustrating to say the least.  Not being appreciated at work by the higher ups, and too much internal politics are killing me.

8. Relatively big task came into my hands at work and that’s been giving me stress.

9. My body pretty much gave out on both Tuesday and Wednesday due to stress, and felt too weak to do much.

10. Both of our cars seem to need the transmissions rebuilt… either that or get a different car(s).  🙁

10. Finance (and managing it) has never been my forté and making ends meet is becoming more and more difficult.

Things, honestly, look very bleak right now… but as Ash Wednesday reminds me, I need to keep in my mind how much more of pain and suffering Jesus had to endure for our sakes.  May God give me strength to carry on, wisdom to manage, and the discernment to choose wisely.

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I am still a cold-hearted b****** and Soojin’s my hero

Happy birthday Pastor Shawn! 😀

So to celebrate his, Andrew Kim’s, and Eric Song’s b-days, we went across the street to Chipotle for lunch after the service. Nothing too extreme to denote the title thus far, right? Well, after the lunch and the looong stop at Berripop, we headed back to our car. We had to walk back to the church parking lot.

On the way, we noticed a homeless man sitting on the bus stop bench. I tried to hurry along, and try to ignore him. However, Soojin, as soon as we pass him, she says, “Do you think he ate?” At first, I was irritated and annoyed. She then proceeded to suggest that we should buy him something to eat and pointed to Whichwich.

So I sent the rest ahead and I went to buy the sandwich and came back to give him the sandwich. He is all that anyone would think of when you heard the word “homeless”: beard and facial hair everywhere, half asleep, very dark faced, age of 40-something to 50-something. When I approached him, he saw what I had in my hands and got up and said something appreciative that I don’t recall.

Afterwards, I had realized how cold and heartless I was. I am as the title says, a cold-hearted bas****. I’d rather avoid him and turn the cold shoulder rather than be like Soojin who obviously had the heart of Christ in her… definitely more than I had.

You see, this isn’t the first time. Last year during summer, Soojin had noticed this older man selling newspaper on Kirby near 59. His name was Dave. When she first saw him, she again wanted to feed him and give him drink. Everyone has their heroes. Mine is Soojin. She certainly has the heart of a hero of Christ. She is able to see the person that is in need. And sees it right through.