Category: Family

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Memories of Grandpa – Becoming Softer

Grandparents

What’s reminiscence without complementary grandpa?

My paternal grandfather was a man of education. He spent the entire life on education. He was a principal to an elementary school in Namwon. Most of the people that are in and around the area grew up having him as the principal. I recall so many people coming over to pay their respects during his funeral.

It was a very emotional one for me. He had just one wish and that was to hold a great grandson. Trust me, if I could turn back time, I wish I could grant him that one last wish. But alas, he died without having held JJ. I used to think badly of that. You see, Anna is my older child but having grown up in Confucius teachings and the older culture, he practically ignored my daughter when we had visited him several years ago.

I used to hold that against him… but now, I just … let it go. He has known that culture for all his life and have realized that expecting him to love my daughter just as much as he would my son was more than he could. Perhaps, it was being a principal but I remember him being very strict and … not very fun to be around. My (paternal) grandmother was so much kinder, though I barely remember her now… She passed away when I was only about 20. Having bored 10 children was more than she could handle. The biggest thing I remember was that she would let me go out to play when grandpa told us not to go outside.

Namwon was a countryside back then… no covered roads to home… just dirt. So the beginning decades for me weren’t very fond memories of him. But as conversations come back again and again to it, jung (?, the essence of emotional bonds between people that is formed over time and/or circumstances) is a very strong and scary stuff.

Since adulthood, I have had the opportunity to visit him again and again. Once he came to visit us in the States. We drove him around even to Canada to sightsee. Over the years, I noticed him getting… softer. It was rather subtle but it was there. He was less strict and laughed more (at least to what I remember).

I’d like to believe that he died peacefully having made peace with what he could and the people that he could. Seeing all those people coming to pay respects reminded me that he did something right. But it was definitely a gentler and softer grandfather that I remember now…  I am so glad that is how I remember him.  See you soon grandpa…  Hope you can see JJ from up there…

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Memories of Grandma – Ssook (?)

For almost 4 years my family lived in Seoul in Sung-book Gu (???) during my elementary school years.  My (mathernal) grandparents lived not too far from us.  I think it was about 20 minutes by walking distance.

Few things I recall about my grandparents, I wanted to write them here more for my own sake than others so I can remember about them.  My grandfather was a busy man so I don’t remember much about him at all other than he was a collector of all sorts, including Korean art.  I think I have some of that gene as I love collecting things.

Unfortunately, things about my grandfather ends there.  It’s my grandmother (????) that I remember more of.  She had a … vibrant spirit about her.  She was always very straightforward and told things as she saw them.

One, she loved wrestling.  In my youth days, there was one Korean short wrestler by the name of Kim Il (? ?) who was infamous for head butting his opponents.  She would always watch him play and would love seeing his head butting.  I obviously didn’t think much of it at the time, being about 10 years old at that time but it has strangely become a fond memory of her.  Weird?  I think once time goes by, any memories one retains of the person stays.

Another thing I recall is how she loved to cook.  ? (ssook) is a rather common plant as the picture above shows and is known as Asteraceae.  This was a very common plant that was everywhere, at least while I was a kid, in Korea.  I remember grandma would ask us to go out with her and pick these by the bag-fulls!  What did she do with them?  Why, make rice cakes (?) of course!  ?? (pronounced ssook-dduk) would come out rather dark green in color and didn’t taste very good.  Well, to be honest, it tasted terrible!

However, I’d pay million bucks to go back in time to about picking ? with her and I’d gladly eat all the ?? that she would give if I could…  I guess I feel nostalgic and miss her.  I sure hope she’s making me plenty of ?? up in heaven…  I bet she’s picking them up in heaven right about now…  See you soon grandma.

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Lunch with Anna & JJ

JJ's lunch

With some time left, I dropped by the kids’ school to have surprise lunch with them and got to hang out with some of their closest friends.  JJ took out 3 of his “Buddy Club” members – Ryan, Derek, and PJ.  Notice that it’s all guys.  Typical 6 year old.  And his “Buddy Club”‘s main purpose is to chase the girls during recess.  I kid you not.  Gotta be proud of the son!  LOL

Anna's lunch

After JJ’s lunch, Anna came out for her lunch.  She picked out Jennifer, a closest friend in her class and two boys!  You read that right… she chose two boys!  Don’t you worry, I think she just “allowed” them to join in the lunch because you and your friends can sit outside with the parent during the lunch.

Another thing I noticed is that both of my kids have broad mix of ethnic friends.  Those two boys are of Indian descent and Anna thought nothing of it.  One of JJ’s Buddy Club member is African-American (though I think the word “black” is not derogatory, I will use the PC word) and so I was very happy to see that both had healthy mix of friends.  I did not want them to be exclusive to just one group.

And as they grow up and narrow down on their list of friends, I noticed that it would be important to be in not just my kids’ lives but also their closest friends’ lives as well.  Last thing I want my kids to be grow to be are racists or some kind of “purists”.  Dang, who knew that so much attention had to be given in parenting!!

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Curiously Odd Habits

It started when we visited H-Mart.  JJ had asked me which color he should pick: white or green.  I had no idea so I said green.  Then he started hopping on only the green tiles.

I didn’t teach him this stuff but it came out.  I remember my younger days and creating a game out of it myself to jump only from a shadow to another shadow, or to step only in particular tiles or shapes.  Here is JJ doing the very same thing but I hadn’t even mentioned it!  I was so enticed on how kids can play and how certain habits and ways of playing  just get passed down genetically.

I played with him of course and he’d complain every now and then how green tiles seemed so far from each other.  It’s really good to be a kid… and I am so glad that JJ is enjoying his childhood… even if he doesn’t quite realize it.  I hope he and Anna will continue to have fun being kids.  It only lasts a short time anyway…

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JJ’s Second Birthday!

Well, it seems like at least our family is complete!  I learned yesterday that now JJ has received Christ as his savior! 😀  He told mommy that he raised his hand and that it was his decision.

So now, all four of us are saved… I am valuing more and more of these after-school Christian programs.  Be sure to look up at your kids’ schools to see if they have anything even remotely similar to my kids’ “Good News Club”!

Woohoo!!

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Father’s Wishes for His Son

Animated JJ

JJ has been… energetic to say the least.  He’s anything but like me when I was a kid.  He’s very outgoing, highly energetic, and very sociable.  I was nothing like that when I was little.  I was a huge introvert, shy, and definitely not full of energy.

So when he was born, I wanted him to have a life that I failed to live.  I wanted him to enjoy life even from the young days.  I wanted him to be playful and enjoy each day, even if it meant him being … loud.  The picture above captures the essence of how I want my son to be… playful, enjoying being himself.

My days of childhood was too quiet.  Not sure what prompted me to be so shy but I was.  In some extreme years, I became a bookworm and stayed home all day reading books.  These days, I don’t think it’s enough to be just smart and intelligent.  As much as I’d love my kids to be smart, Soojin and I agree, that given the choices, we would prefer them to be sociable over smart any day.

I’ve come across many intelligent people in my life, both personally and professionally.  And my only conclusion thus far is that intelligent people are hard to work with, way too finicky, and are not open minded.  In this world, I want JJ to grow up expressing himself openly, no matter how the world treats him for it.  At the same time, being sociable to work with others and get along with others.

In short, I want him to enjoy life on a day to day basis.  Sure learning is important.  In fact, one should never stop learning.  However, beyond that step, living the day to its fullest potential (carpe diem) and being full of life is how I want him to be.  I would rather have him be bit more mischievous and hyper than shy and reclusive.  Perhaps that’s more due to the fact that that’s how I was and didn’t like it, but that’s what I would want for JJ.

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Saving Connor

Sue and Connor

That’s Sue, Connor’s mom (my cousin-in-law)…

No it’s not about the Terminator series… rather, it’s a personal request.

You see, my cousin Steve has a 5-year-old son, Connor.  He has a rather rare condition called X-linked hyper IGM. This clinical sounding disease is a devastating immuno-deficiency. The 1 in a million diagnosed usually succumb to liver cirrhosis or lung infection at an early age, the lucky few may survive into their mid-20’s.

So he needs a matching bone marrow donor to cure this condition.  So I have started, on their behalf with their permission, a Facebook fan page called Saving Connor in my nephew (technically first cousin, once removed)‘s honor in order to:

  • Help spread awareness of Asians’ lack of registering on the bone marrow donor listing
  • To get people registered, especially Koreans, to help find a matching donor

So please join the bone marrow registry. You can register online at www.aadp.org or www.bethematch.org (use promo code TeamConnor) – it takes 10 minutes to join.