Month: August 2010

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Memories of Grandpa – Becoming Softer

Grandparents

What’s reminiscence without complementary grandpa?

My paternal grandfather was a man of education. He spent the entire life on education. He was a principal to an elementary school in Namwon. Most of the people that are in and around the area grew up having him as the principal. I recall so many people coming over to pay their respects during his funeral.

It was a very emotional one for me. He had just one wish and that was to hold a great grandson. Trust me, if I could turn back time, I wish I could grant him that one last wish. But alas, he died without having held JJ. I used to think badly of that. You see, Anna is my older child but having grown up in Confucius teachings and the older culture, he practically ignored my daughter when we had visited him several years ago.

I used to hold that against him… but now, I just … let it go. He has known that culture for all his life and have realized that expecting him to love my daughter just as much as he would my son was more than he could. Perhaps, it was being a principal but I remember him being very strict and … not very fun to be around. My (paternal) grandmother was so much kinder, though I barely remember her now… She passed away when I was only about 20. Having bored 10 children was more than she could handle. The biggest thing I remember was that she would let me go out to play when grandpa told us not to go outside.

Namwon was a countryside back then… no covered roads to home… just dirt. So the beginning decades for me weren’t very fond memories of him. But as conversations come back again and again to it, jung (?, the essence of emotional bonds between people that is formed over time and/or circumstances) is a very strong and scary stuff.

Since adulthood, I have had the opportunity to visit him again and again. Once he came to visit us in the States. We drove him around even to Canada to sightsee. Over the years, I noticed him getting… softer. It was rather subtle but it was there. He was less strict and laughed more (at least to what I remember).

I’d like to believe that he died peacefully having made peace with what he could and the people that he could. Seeing all those people coming to pay respects reminded me that he did something right. But it was definitely a gentler and softer grandfather that I remember now…  I am so glad that is how I remember him.  See you soon grandpa…  Hope you can see JJ from up there…

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Memories of Grandma – Ssook (?)

For almost 4 years my family lived in Seoul in Sung-book Gu (???) during my elementary school years.  My (mathernal) grandparents lived not too far from us.  I think it was about 20 minutes by walking distance.

Few things I recall about my grandparents, I wanted to write them here more for my own sake than others so I can remember about them.  My grandfather was a busy man so I don’t remember much about him at all other than he was a collector of all sorts, including Korean art.  I think I have some of that gene as I love collecting things.

Unfortunately, things about my grandfather ends there.  It’s my grandmother (????) that I remember more of.  She had a … vibrant spirit about her.  She was always very straightforward and told things as she saw them.

One, she loved wrestling.  In my youth days, there was one Korean short wrestler by the name of Kim Il (? ?) who was infamous for head butting his opponents.  She would always watch him play and would love seeing his head butting.  I obviously didn’t think much of it at the time, being about 10 years old at that time but it has strangely become a fond memory of her.  Weird?  I think once time goes by, any memories one retains of the person stays.

Another thing I recall is how she loved to cook.  ? (ssook) is a rather common plant as the picture above shows and is known as Asteraceae.  This was a very common plant that was everywhere, at least while I was a kid, in Korea.  I remember grandma would ask us to go out with her and pick these by the bag-fulls!  What did she do with them?  Why, make rice cakes (?) of course!  ?? (pronounced ssook-dduk) would come out rather dark green in color and didn’t taste very good.  Well, to be honest, it tasted terrible!

However, I’d pay million bucks to go back in time to about picking ? with her and I’d gladly eat all the ?? that she would give if I could…  I guess I feel nostalgic and miss her.  I sure hope she’s making me plenty of ?? up in heaven…  I bet she’s picking them up in heaven right about now…  See you soon grandma.